1. October 27, 1997.

(modified from www.globalinnes.com/message.htm)

It's funny how attached a little kid can get to his identity. Most would assume that a child would find his identity in the games he plays, the toys he runs around the house with or even the friends that he has, but from a very young age my identity was always found in being an Innes. I knew that I was part of something special, because I was part of the Innes family. Our family, from what I can tell, doesn't have any amazing history; my Dad immigrated to Canada from Scotland when he was three and the Innes family in Canada pretty much established themselves by newspaper advertising. But for some reason as a child, when I got up in the morning, saw my brother, mother and father, I knew who I was because I was an Innes.

I have already mentioned here of my parents divorce. When it happened, my world came crashing down. The breakup of my family was my loss of identity. At the age of twelve, I struggled with the question, "who am I?" In the past I had been able to answer this question with a strong "I am an Innes", and though the name was still mine, the family that it belonged to no longer existed. In retrospect I see that the next few years were spent searching for a new answer to "who am I?" I sought my identity in delusions, believing that if I thought reality was a certain way, maybe it would really be true. I sought my identity in friends but quickly realized that I would never be able to be everything they wanted me to be. Eventually I began dabbling in the occult and thought I had found the answer. I found power that was under my control. I knew who I was because I could see and feel the power that I believed was mine. I know now that power was in no way mine, it belonged to something much darker and frightening.

One fall day in 10th grade a friend invited me to come play basketball outside her church. We played for a while but eventually ended up sitting on the steps talking about the differences in our beliefs. I had grown up with Christian influences and going to church, so most of what she said was very familiar and we eventually found our way inside the church.

It was as though all God needed to do was to bring me into His house for a moment in order to get the small grasp He needed. I agreed to come with my friend that Sunday, but made it clear to her that I had no intention of "converting".

That Sunday, after the Pastor had preached, he asked if anyone needed to come to the front of the church for prayer. Again the question "who am I?" came to my head, and the answer was clear. I was a sinner, a lost child that needed to be brought back into the loving arms of my Father.

I went to the front and prayed, admitting that I knew I had done wrong against God, that I wanted to be like Christ, and that I accepted the forgiveness Christ could give as a result of his death on the cross. As I prayed I felt someone place a hand on my back, then another and another and another. When I stood, I turned and saw at least half a dozen other teenagers standing there ready to welcome me. Finally "who am I?" had an answer that could never change, that could never be rocked by divorce, or any earthly decision. It was as though God had whispered, "You are part of my family, that is who you are."

That was years ago, and today I still grow in His family everyday. It's never easy, but it is always worth it, knowing that I have been created as part of a family that knows no age, gender, race or physical boundaries, to bring Glory to God.